Lessons I learned from Reality Shows (Post One) : "Timing, Location, Audience, and how it plays in telling your story"

I'm a watcher of reality TV. For the most part, I watch all types of reality shows. I enjoy "First 48", "Jersey Shore", "Life After Lockup", "Iyanla, Fix My Life", the Real Housewives franchise, and etc. The list goes on and on.

 

Now a lot can be said about watching these shows. People love to call it trashy TV. I guess in some ways I can understand why due to the fighting and arguing that tends to happen a lot. But let's be honest, humanity isn't pretty. We shouldn't only want reality TV to show only the best of us. We get messy, we fight, we lie, we preserve, we succeed, we come together, and we are so much more. Reality TV is supposed to capture all of that. And yes, we can get into how production plays a HUGE role in it, but for the most part reality TV captures snapshots of how humanity is. And the thing is, there ARE some positive shows, but they don't do as well.

But this post isn't about that. Lately due to the lockdown and since I wasn't feeling well, I have been catching up on a lot of reality shows. And as I watching these recaps, clips, and episodes, I remember why I use to always watch these shows. For those who don't know, I am a ghostwriter and I use to draw inspiration from these shows. I found these twists and turns not only entertaining but educational as well. When I would write characters based on real people, I would "fix" the trait I didn't like and/or give the ending I thought they deserved. This let me know that there were some lessons that I learned from these shows. And since the internet is where people feel like they have a voice and a platform 😅, here I am to post about the lessons I learned through reality TV. 

Love and Hip Hop Atlanta Season 6 Main Cast
From Left to Right:
Tommie, Rasheeda, Mimi, Stevie J, Joseline, Tammy, and Karlie Redd

So lesson one comes from Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, season 6. This was the season that was mostly about infidelity. Almost every couple was either dealing with active infidelity or the effects of past infidelity. There were Tammy and Waka, with Waka trying to make up for his past infidelity with his wife. Sierra (her first season) and her husband at that time were cheating on her with her assistant, Moriah, and finally Rasheeda and her husband Kirk's whole family dealing with him cheating on Rasheeda, again, but this time producing a child w/ his sidechick. I got many lessons from that season, but one just hit me the other day. I learned the lesson of telling your story and the important steps you should take. 

Let's talk about Sierra and her husband Shooter Gates briefly. Sierra is the owner of a salon and is obviously making moves to expand her brand. Early in the season, it is established that Shooter is cheating on Sierra with her assistant, Moriah. Now as foul as infidelity is, I think it's horrible to cheat on your significant other with someone they are not only going to see every day, but they are also working with. (That alone lets me know how much he valued  his wife.) Anyway, we see that his sidechick/mistress Moriah and her friend, Treasure P, both sleep with or have slept with married men. And these two women...specifically Treasure is where I learned my lesson. 

Treasure P 
(Image from Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, Season 6)

Treasure P and the rest of the cast were on a trip to Jamaica. The majority of the cast was giving well wishes to their friends Rasheeda and Kirk. It seemed that Rasheeda and Kirk were trying to mend their relationship after Kirk cheated on his wife....again. As Tammy tells Rasheeda to let her guard down and enjoy the vacation with Kirk, Treasure P interrupts. Treasure tells the group that she is friends with Jasmine's (The person Kirk has a new baby with) friend and the friend told Treasure of all the things Kirk supposedly said to Jasmine. Tammy interrupts her and tells her that it wasn't the time or place, but Treasure insists. She continues to go on and once again is interrupted by one of Rasheeda's friends. Tammy says to her, "But you're speaking from a side-bitch perspective." You know, they were just letting her know, "We're not going to listen to what you're saying."  Treasure then says, "I'm being real because we're all women and this is about women empowerment." After Rasheeda gets so upset that she gets up to leave, Jessica Dime loses her cool and she grabs Treasure's wig and...(see below for more info).

Jessica Dime, wearing all white, Treasure P, wearing all black, getting her wig snatched and almost dragged off.
*Side note* Look at Mimi's reaction 😂

Now, we can go on and on about the fight, but it's crazy after all these years, I realized something. After rewatching the fight I realized that Treasure P...was right. To revisit what she said during her green screen confessional: "I know Kiana from dancing in the club. She told me all about Jasmine and Kirk's drama. Sidechicks get a bad rep, but at the end of the day, your story deserves to be told because it's the guy that makes the girl feel some type of way. It's not the sidechick's vows...it's YOUR VOWS." And this statement is 100% right. Mistresses/sidechicks/etc are not responsible for the marriage vows because that's not her marriage, it's up to these husbands. She was absolutely right, but Treasure really needed to know to read the room. 

At this dinner there were multiple women that were cheated on,(Karlie, Mimi, Tammy, and Rasheeda), so they weren't going to be likely to listen. Also, Kirk was there to mend his relationship with Rasheeda, which I believe Treasure P knew, so there was no point in bringing it up. Then to top it all off, everyone there was encouraging them to work on their relationship. So whatever gems she dropped, it was never going to be heard. When telling your story never forget these important things, location, timing, and audience. 

Treasure P was saying the right words at the wrong place, time, and audience. In that crowd that she was in, what was supposed to happen. Did she expect Rasheeda to get mad and argue with Kirk? Honestly, her intentions really don't matter because it wasn't going to be received well. The timing was definitely off and the place...definitely not there. And this got me thinking of how sometimes you have the right message but just not the right audience, time, or place. And sometimes when you're spitting the truth and it's not received, it can discourage you. Before you ever feel like you don't have something to say, ask yourself these three questions:

- Is this the right audience?

-Is this the right time?

-Is this the right place? 

If not, keep it to yourself. If you are about having your message received, then you need those things in place. But if you just want to rant and you can't wait...well, there's always Twitter.🥰