The Kernel (A Short Story)

The Kernel

By Alexandra Jean 

1

The gentle tones of the phone alarm sang through the air. It cut across a silence that lived in the house for the past seven hours and fell upon Elena’s ears. As per usual, the sweet melodic tones didn’t wake Elena up. With a soft push, her husband Sidney attempted to wake her up. 

“Honey.” He said half to her and half to his pillow. She stirred but she couldn’t wake up. Stuck in the alternate reality that was her dream. She was in Georgia, where her aunt lived, and she stood outside of their home. She was chasing chickens and trying to open up the roadside stand that they had. Elena felt determined to start work so she would chase the chickens for a few seconds, then drop it to start stacking the produce on the table, then proceeded to go back to the chickens. She finally completed the task all while munching on a head of iceberg lettuce. 

“Elena.” Her aunt said suddenly standing next to her. She looked over at her aunt with her striking features. Her height, her full lips, almond-shaped eyes, melanin kissed skin, but a no-nonsense attitude that somehow pushed through. She’d always loved her aunt. People always thought that she was her aunt’s daughter, but once they saw Elena’s mom, there was no Maury dispute there. All these women shared similar features, but she was definitely her mother’s twin. 

“Yes.” She answered her aunt, still gnawing at the lettuce head.

“You forgot the chickens.” Her aunt told her and before Elena could correct her, Elena found herself back at the chicken coop, chasing chickens again. Finally, a chicken walked towards her and when she reached out to grab it, the alarm tone brought her into reality. She was awake. 

“Honey,” Sidney said again this time with a purposeful nudge. “Your alarm.” He told her and she pulled herself out of bed slowly. She turned off her cell phone’s alarm and snuck back under the covers. “What’s the point of the alarm if you’re going to go back to bed?” 

“Just for a little bit.” She buried herself deep into the covers. She looked over at the ceiling-to-floor windows and saw the sun fighting to peek in. Her long curtains kept them at bay as if it was a secret that it was now 7 am. As she always did, Elena loved to take an extra five minutes in bed. Just five where she could mentally prepare for the day. This day would take an Olympics course.

Her skin touched her husband’s under the sheets and immediately, she felt him stir and pull her against him. His warmth stirred feelings in her and a part of her wanted to pull away, knowing what could happen. But mostly the parts of her that loved this familiar feeling, relished in it. Sidney had been someone she wanted for so long. Now in the beginning years of her 30s, she knew him for ten years. They had been friends but always flirted; hinting that there was something more. Both in relationships throughout the years but always finding their way back to each other. Three years ago, with drinks and inhibitions aside, one fateful night correctly steered their relationship to its rightful place. They were married a year later. A huge wedding dripped in everything quintessential pro-Black, as they both were. She got her happily ever after.

And now this morning, like many mornings before, when their skin touching, it just made them want to explore each other. She lied on her back and his hands reached under her white shirt and cupped her breasts. Playing with her nipples, she bit her lip. She was fighting with herself, and she knew she was going to lose if she didn’t move, but the familiar felt good. She pulled on his arm, indicating that she wanted him on top of him. Knowing that signal all too well, Sidney pressed his athletic body against her curvy one. Kissing her neck, she bit her lip harder. She didn’t want the words to come out, but she knew it was only a matter of time. She couldn’t deny what was going on right now with her husband, but she knew she couldn’t do it...no that morning. Just as she was about to open her mouth, his erection pressed against her, and she felt herself giving in, but she opened her mouth. 

“Sid…” She let out in a barely audible gasp. “I can’t.” She closed her eyes. 

“I know, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to touch my wife.” He spoke in her ear. His seductive tone danced in her brain and fought side by side with parts of her but was losing to another part of her. 

“Baby….” She opened her eyes and even in the dark, she knew their eyes were locked. 

“Alright.” He conceded, rolling over. His body plopped on the bed, making her jump up.

“As soon as you feel better.” He sat up. She turned on the light and saw the glimmer in his eye. “I’m there.”

“You’ll be the first to know.” She winked. 

Elena got the day going. She made eggs and garlic toast for breakfast. In the back of her mouth, she felt something was stuck between her teeth. Earlier in the morning, she brushed and flossed, but yet there was still this intruder between the back of her teeth. She tried to wiggle it out, but it didn’t budge. The intruder just made its presence known but showed no signs it leaving. It annoyed Elena as she tried to suck, gargled, finagle it out, but to no avail. She heard her daughter coming downstairs, so she ignored it for the time being. 

Elena went back to preparing breakfast. She finished it all up and poured three cups of orange juice out. She then went back to the griddle and put the food all on three plates. Her twelve-year-old daughter, Coretta, came into the kitchen, plugged into her own world. She barely gave her mother a morning greeting and that would usually irritate Elena, but she had too many battles to fight that day. She just ran her hand in her daughter’s twists playfully. Her daughter gave her a sincere smile and proceeded to eat her breakfast. Minutes later, the family set completed with Sidney coming in the kitchen. Wearing business casual attire, he kissed his wife on the cheek, thanked her for the breakfast, and sat across from Coretta. He reached over and he and Coretta fist-bumped as they always did since he met her when she was three. Elena watched them for a minute, freezing the memory in her mind. Something at one time that she thought was impossible.

Out of nowhere, the intruder between her teeth brushed against the back of her tongue. Again, she went to kick the intruder out. She was getting lost in the battle that she didn’t hear her husband calling out to her. 

“What wrong?” He asked after he saw he finally got her attention. 

“There is something stuck in my teeth and I don’t know what it is.” 

“Does it hurt?” He questioned putting down his fork. 

“No, no.” She passed her tongue over it again, “It’s just annoying.” 

“Then give it some time. It’ll come out. Don’t stress about it.” 

“I’m not stressing.” 

“What time are you going to the shelter?” He asked Elena as she sat down to join her family. 

“In about twenty minutes or so.” She played with her food. “I got to pick up two cats and then help with some kittens.” 

“I’m not a cat person, but if that’s what you want to do.” He always reminded her when she talked about her charity work. “Something about cats, I just don’t like. They are so sneaky and ungrateful.” He went on. “Now a dog is someone you can trust. Dogs are loyal.” He winked and she forced a smile. 

“I just want to help.”

“Mom said that there are millions of cats that are homeless in NYC.” Coretta spitting out facts that she’d been told. “I can’t believe that they kill a lot of these cats.” She continued. 

“I get it.” Her husband went on. “I think it’s wrong what is happening to cats, but I still don’t like them.” Coretta playfully shook her head at her stepdad. “Hey, what time is your father getting you?” 

“I think in about an hour.” 

“I can drop you off if that makes things easier.” 

Elena watched them go back and forth and just disappeared in the background. She watched them make plans without her. For so long, everything was on her shoulders as a single parent, and now Sidney effortlessly stepped in. He became such an instrumental piece. She watched him get up and grab her daughter’s empty plate and wash the dishes. They got up to get ready to leave. She saw them zip by her in slow motion, but she was aware that time was getting away from her. Before she knew it, they were out in the car leaving, and she was alone. 

She made it to the bedroom and got in the shower again. She already took a shower earlier this morning, but she took another one. This one was just quick and she later got out in less than ten minutes. She covered herself in sweet-smelling lotions, oils, and sprays. She threw on a red lingerie teddy. She looked at herself in the full-length mirror that was in her bathroom. She started feeling as sexy as she looked. Her hair has been pulled back in a ponytail that showed her natural hair, but she took it out. Putting her hair in two tight french braids, she threw a wig cap over it. She took out a wig that had a bang that just barely covered her eyes. She looked like a whole other person. She loved the different personalities and looks she could do when she put on a wig or had a weave. She smiled at the image before her.  She began putting on makeup. She put gold on her eyelids and darkened her eyebrows. She put on foundation and concealer and just sported this look. She was still herself, just a different part.

2

Elena stepped out of her car in front of the apartment building. She already spent five minutes in the car with her thoughts and now she felt that she was going to have another battle in front of the building. She could feel parts of herself go back and forth, but they all agreed on one thing, she had made the effort to come down here for a reason; as she had down before. 

Walking past the male gaze of some men that stood in front of the building, she ignored their compliments and stares. She pressed the button to be buzzed up without looking at it. It hurt her heart that she knew where the button was so well that she didn’t need to look at it, but she kept going. As the buzz let her in, she walked to the left side of the building. She pressed the elevator to take her to the fourth floor. On every floor, her heart was going crazy, but she calmed down when the elevator door opened and she saw him on the other side. Immediately, he pulled her in for a hug, and she melted in his embrace. 

“Mmm.” He moaned as he breathed her in. “ I can’t tell you how much I missed you.” His arms wrapped around her waist and slid down to her ass, squeezing it and automatically arousing her. “My Elena.” He said looking at her. “My beautiful Elena.” He told her again as he took her hand, and led her to his apartment. She played over his words in her head. “My Elena.” He always said that like he owned her, but he only knew a part of her. She shook her head before she could think about it. 

He brought her into his apartment. 

“My roommate is gone for the day and we can just do whatever.” He told her as he sat on the couch. She obliged and sat next to him and he turned on the TV. He turned the channel to one of her favorite reality shows. She smiled because she knew that he didn’t care for them, but it was on because she liked it. Although she has seen the episode before, it was the thought that counted. The thought being centered around her. James liked her, she knew this, but still…

“Are you cold?” He asked her. She looked down and saw that she still had the jacket on. She stood up and peeled the jacket off of her slowly. She revealed her tights and her bodysuit that framed her body so nicely. James was immediately aroused, but when she threw the jacket to the side, slid her tights off, and revealed the red lingerie peeking through the bodysuit, he sat at attention. She snapped the bodysuit open and flung it off to the side to meet her jacket. She slowly walked over to him and his hands immediately were all over her body. She straddled him on the couch and let his hands roam all over her. As he touched, squeezed, and caressed her body, with an erection pressing against her underwear, the invader in her gums made its presence known again.

So as James touched her, her tongue fiddled with the invader. She felt it move but that wasn’t the progress that she was looking for. As turned on as she was, this thing annoyed her. She just needed to know what it was. Was it a strawberry seed from when Sidney brought her a milkshake? Was it some chicken from the dinner that they all shared last night? What was it and why was it bothering her? She thought as she finally felt it wiggle and almost come out, but then James kissed her and she lost her place. 

“What did you tell him this time?” James asked looking into her eyes. His devilish grin matched the mischief of the question. She knew this was another thing that aroused him. Knowing that he has this part of her and knowing that it was a secret. She never knew men to be jealous. She has an older brother, who much like her, was pretty chill and didn’t invest in drama. But James showed her a side of men she never really seen. He would bring up her husband, something she didn’t enjoy, but she never vocalized it. She twiddled with the intruder in her mouth one more time before she spoke. 

“I told him that I was at the shelter. He thinks I’m with the cats.”

“And what else?” He pressed for more. She knew the golden egg that he chased for. He didn’t care how he got it, he wanted that answer right away.

“Told him that I had a UTI from me switching my multivitamins.”  She feigned this conversation. She wore a smile and spoke seductively. He licked his lips and kissed her. Sharing a secret between two tongues. She wondered how it tasted to him.

James stood up, with Elena hanging on. He was built like a football player. Stocky and strong, while Sidney was more like a soccer player, lean but with hidden strength that often surprised her. James brought her to his bedroom and laid her down. She looked up to the ceiling as she felt her underwear slide down and off. He opened her legs tasting her. She jumped at his touch, but she fell into the tongue. It slid inside her and tasted every clean drop of her. He ferociously went at her and chased after the orgasm that hid within her. He was hungry for it and she would dig her nails into his shoulders but that didn’t stop him. It was like he could sense another elusive orgasm. If one peeked its head, he chased it like a hunter. His gun, his tongue, shooting through looking for his target. He roamed all over looking for it, even changing the angles of where he was shooting. Finally, he found it, slaying it, mounting its head over his fireplace in the same ease he swung her legs over his shoulders.

The sex was anything but familiar. As she recovered, she sat up, swinging him down, and getting on top of him. He reached in a draw, grabbed a condom, and she sat on it..like a temporary throne. She bounced all over, tightening up, going in circles, looking down at him, with vulnerability. 

“I hate you.” She whispered and when he sped up beneath her, she screamed it out loud in ecstasy. “I hate you!” She affirmed again falling against his body, He rolled on the side and continued. She leaned against him, throwing her head back, and accidentally passed her tongue over the kernel. She started to play with it some more, but at that same time, James started to slow down and she lost it. Feeling another orgasm near, and with a new weapon to hunt it, James went at the chase again. This time, it wasn’t as evasive, he conquered it quickly.

The day went on and the sex didn’t stop until Elena realized that four hours had passed. Again, she was lost in this world. Even when she first met him, they spoke for hours and hours. She was so engrossed in his conversation. He came to drop off a cat that someone discarded in the neighborhood. She thanked him on behalf of the organization she would volunteer for but he lingered. They talked about everything and the next thing they knew, they exchanged numbers. She didn’t bother fooling herself by saying this was merely a friendship, his attraction was apparent. And he saw her ring so he knew. She didn’t bring up her husband at all. At first, James didn’t have access to that part of her life. But the more she stayed with him, she realized that he was going to consume more. 

“I got to go.” 

3

Back in the car, she leaned forward on the steering wheel. Just five more minutes before she pulled away. She needed to collect herself, but this time she wasn’t awarded that luxury. Between the intruder still in her mouth and the thoughts in her head, she had multiple battles awaiting her. Her mind replayed the “My Elena” bit again. It was a constant reminder of old habits she thought she left behind. 

Before committing to Sidney, she never really kept a solid relationship. A big part of her knew that she was in love with Syndey, no matter how much she denied it, but that huge part of her knew the truth. So what did she do? Did Elena just tell Sydney the truth? No. She danced and played with other men. She gave them parts of her. The parts of her that were sweet and easily digestible. The parts of her that didn’t need anything to help wash it down. She gave up those parts and as Sydney was a friend, he got the bitter parts. He got the parts that needed to be put away and reheated the next day. He got the parts that needed medicine and instructions on how to prepare the parts. Sydney got the parts that needed a little sugar or a little spice, or salt. Sydney always was willing to cook and put in labor for the parts and finally when she gave him her sweet part, he naturally came back for more but still yearn for the other parts of her. That’s when she knew that it wasn’t a crush. She knew that he loved her, even the parts of her she had kept hidden for so long. He accepted all parts and she did the same. 

She made it home and immediately went to the shower. Taking off the wig and the clothes, she stood underneath the warm shower. She began scrubbing hard. She hoped to erase the scent of James off of her, but his fingerprints lingered. She couldn’t deny the imprint that he left behind. She tried to erase the last four hours from her head, concentrating on the foreigner in her mouth. She even took her finger back there, hoping it would loosen up, but all it did was push it around. After her shower, she brushed her teeth again but then it only moved a little bit. She shrugged her shoulders. As she rinsed out her mouth with mouthwash, there was a soft knock at the bathroom door. She turned to see her husband. 

“Hey.” He greeted her with a warm smile that made her mirror it back to him. He playfully kept his hands behind her back. “I got something for you.” Those five words made her instantly reach for him but he pulled back. “Uh uh. I was at work but then I took a late lunch and got this for you. I was going to bring it after work, but I know you, Elena, you would have been going crazy all day.” Behind his back, he pulled out a water flosser kit. “Now you can get rid of it.” 

She wrapped her arms around him. She inhaled deeply and swallowed him in and found herself choking slightly. She went to the sink and coughed. Looking down at the sink, she saw the intruder out in the open. She put her tongue back to its former home and saw that it was indeed evicted.

“What is that?” She asked and he looked over. 

“That’s popcorn kernel skin.” Her husband identified. “Don’t you hate popcorn?” He quizzed.

“Yeah but this girl had some at the shelter the other day and I guess one got stuck.” She flashed back to three days earlier of her and James splitting a bag of popcorn at his apartment. “I should have just turned it down.” 

“It’s no big deal,” Sydney said kissing her forehead. “I got to get back to work.”

“Love you.” She told him. He smiled and kissed her lips softly. 

“Love you too.” 

Elena heard the front door slam followed by the chirp of her husband’s car alarm. She went to the pile of clothes that she had before she dug out the lingerie and then went to her jacket and took out the cell phone from her pocket. She threw the lingerie in the trash outside in a bag and went back inside. As soon as she locked the door behind her, she texted James two words. “It’s over.” She leaned against the door, preparing herself for an argument. Her phone vibrates and she simply sees “Okay.” 

The End